On Lady Gaga, Re-Releases and The Cracking of the Poker Face

Lady Gaga is going on tour.

Those six words are apparently enough to send any (gay) lover of pop music into a tailspin. When do tickets go on sale? Will the show sell out? How much are tickets going to cost? What will I wear? Will she love me? Is she God?

I am a (gay) lover of pop music. I am not, however, convinced that I care a whole lot about Lady Gaga’s tour. While I was once gaga for Gaga, my love affair with this singing art installation has wilted. And I’m rather afraid that it may be wilted beyond the point of no return.

The nail in the coffin that was my love for Lady Gaga is the upcoming release of The Fame Monster. One could call The Fame Monster Lady Gaga’s sophomore effort, the follow-up to her debut album, The Fame.

I call The Fame Monster a joke.

Instead of giving her fans a proper new album, Lady Gaga is simply re-releasing The Fame with eight new songs tacked on to the back of it. Instead of recording two or three more songs and releasing a full album of original material, this artist is choosing to ride on the shirttails of her existing success. She’s choosing to cushion the success of The Fame. She’s choosing to cheat her fans out of their money. She’s being rather unfair.

Lady Gaga would argue with me on those points, however. “I think re-releases are unfair,” she recently went on record as saying. “It’s artists sneaking singles onto an already finished piece of work in an effort to keep the album afloat. Originally [my label] only wanted me to put out three songs and now it’s much more than that. It’s a new album’s worth of material.”

Someone needs to correct her. The Fame Monster is a new album’s worth of material that is being packaged in conjunction with an old album’s worth of material. That, my dear, is a re-release. There’s no talking yourself out of that one. If you truly believe re-releases are unfair, you’d give us an album called Monster and leave The Fame in the past.

Lady Gaga is not the only recording artist who’s gone down this route in recent years. It’s becoming a very common marketing stunt, a way for record labels to capitalize on the success of a certain project. It’s a good plan for the pockets of record executives and their cronies.

For the fans, it sucks. It means shelling out money for a bunch of songs you already own so that you can get your hands on new material. Lady Gaga had it right when she said it’s unfair. And yet, she’s decided to re-release The Fame anyway.

I used to look at Lady Gaga and see a pop artist with promise. She was different. She was severe and exciting and intriguing. I thought she was someone who could really shake things up.

I feel now like I was wrong. Apparently she’s just like everyone else. She’s out for herself. She’s out for the money. She’s afraid of separating herself from the success she’s already found in order to explore the next phase of her career. She’s not nearly as brave as she portrays herself to be. She’s not an artist. She’s a puppet of the music business.

It’s not surprising. Everyone’s a puppet of someone else. Everyone’s in it for the money. It’s all just a little hard to swallow from a woman who tries so hard to convince the world that she’s a real artist who is in it for so much more.

Looks like, at the end of the day, Lady Gaga’s poker face is starting to crack.

On This Is It, Michael Jackson and Hoping This Really is It

I wasn’t blogging on June 25, 2009. I was on hiatus. Therefore, I missed out on adding my two cents to the circus that was the death of Michael Jackson. Sadly, the circus has yet to really die down. Just today, Michael’s new single was released. This Is It hit the waves of the internet.

Ladies and gentlemen, the circus continues.

I have yet to listen to This Is It. The release of a new Michael Jackson single hasn’t made a splash in my world since he and sister Janet gave us Scream in 1995. Between then and now, Michael released 17 singles, most of which are either completely forgettable or songs I’ve never even heard.

Yes, Michael Jackson the performer died for me some time in 1996.

But now, it seems, Michael Jackson the performer is being resurrected. A new single is being dropped to coincide with the release a movie featuring footage from Jackson’s tour rehearsals. Rumors and allegations may have kept him down in life, but death is no match for Michael Jackson.

I predict This Is It will be a huge hit. I have little doubt that it will top the charts all around the world. Sales of this one are going to break records.

But where were all the people who will buy This Is It when Michael Jackson was still alive? I don’t recall anyone I know singing his praises and calling him out on being the greatest performer to ever live. I never heard his music blaring from cars as they passed on the street. It had been ages since I’d heard a Michael Jackson song on the radio.

And then Michael Jackson died and everyone wanted to be his biggest fan.

This Is It will most likely rocket Michael Jackson back to the level of superstardom he enjoyed with the release of Thriller. For one last brief moment he’ll be the guy with the glove that everyone loves. The rumors surrounding him will fade away and his music will be given a chance to shine once more.

It’s a shame he won’t be here enjoy it. It’s a shame that it comes from a disingenuous place. It’s a shame the world forgot him until he died.

I just hope that once the song and the movie are forgotten, we can finally just leave Michael Jackson alone. It’s high time we put the King of Pop to rest once and for all.

I hope this really is it.

On Kylie, Comparisons and Being a Pop Superstar in Her Own Right

If Kylie Minogue is at all pissed that she’s struck out on her first US tour in order to play humble venues like the Pavilion at the University of Illinois at Chicago, she sure did not let it show last night. The venues and the crowds may be smaller than anything Kylie is used to dealing with outside of the United States, but the show was just as extravagant and bubbly as you’d expect from one of the biggest pint-sized pop princesses on the planet.

For those who may not know the woman who drew every gay man in a tri-city area to the UIC campus last night, here is some background for you.

Kylie released her first single, The Loco-Motion back in 1987. It went on to become the highest-selling single of the decade in her home country of Australia. Her debut album, Kylie, reached number one in the United Kingdom.  Over the next two years, her first thirteen singles reached the British top ten.

She’s released ten studio albums since exploding onto the scene. All but one of those albums hit the top ten in both the United Kingdom and Australia. The woman has sold more than 40 million albums worldwide.

She’s compared to Madonna. She’s compared to Britney. It’s only a matter of time before she’s compared to Lady Gaga.

But Kylie is a pop superstar in her own right. There are bound to be comparisons, but after seeing her live during her first tour of the United States, I can say with the authority of an amateur pop music connoisseur that Kylie most certainly stands on her own well-sculpted legs.

Her show was just as visually stunning as any I’ve seen. Her songs are just as catchy as anything you’d hear on the radio here in the States. She may not be able to dance like Madonna, but Madonna wishes she could show up to a venue and sing live the way Kylie did last night.

This Australian is tiny but mighty.

The proof is in the pudding. Toward the end of her set, Kylie’s bassist had technical difficulties and the show stalled. With a giggle, a twirl, and a wink, Kylie began to banter with the crowd to fill the empty space. When a few fans in the front row began to chant the name of one of her older singles, Kylie obliged. She launched into an off-the-cuff a capella version of Your Disco Needs You. I think even Kylie was surprised at the addition to the show. The crowd ate it up. Kylie fans worldwide raced to the internet to find video and audio clips of the moment.

I’d love to see Madonna or Britney pull off something half as spontaneous in their tours. It was pretty damn spectacular.

I’ll never quite understand why Kylie has never made it big here in the United States. She’s got more going for her than most of the tartlets on the Billboard charts. And yet, she just can’t crack the market.

Then again, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It was certainly a treat to see Kylie in a rather intimate venue and not have to pay the kind of ticket prices Lady Gaga is sure to charge for her next venture. Perhaps a little obscurity is not such a bad thing.

It sure as hell hasn’t hurt Kylie any.

On Music, Memories and Celebrating Madonna

The year is 1982. A ground-breaking ceremony for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial is held in Washington, DC. Chariots of Fire wins Best Picture and three other Academy Awards. The World’s Fair is held in Knoxville, Tennessee. Prince William is born at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, West London. Sony launches the first consumer compact disc player (model CDP-101).

The year is 1982. Madonna releases her first single, Everybody.

Today, twenty-seven years after she first burst on to the music scene, Madonna releases Celebration. A career-spanning greatest hits package, Celebration brings listeners from Everybody through the Queen of Pop’s royal canon to her most recent chart toppers. The collection boasts thirty-four songs that, according to Warner Bros. Records, changed the world.

I won’t be so bold as to claim that Madonna “changed the world.” I will, however, be so bold as to say that Madonna most certainly changed my world. Celebration plays like the soundtrack to my life. Each song exposes a meaning only I can fully understand. Each song perfectly exemplifies a time in my life. Each song holds a memory.

I was five when I first recall being interested in Madonna. It was the spring of 1984. I was riding in my aunt’s car on the way to the San Francisco zoo. The radio DJ announced the latest Madonna single, and both my aunt and I perked up. She turned the volume up on her car stereo and Borderline took us over. From that moment on I was Madonna’s prisoner.

When her Like a Virgin album was released in 1984, I begged my mother to buy it for my dad for Christmas. We both knew that it was not my dad who wanted to own that album. My mother relented, however, and by December 26, I felt like I’d been touched for the very first time.

I was grounded in the summer of 1987 for reenacting Madonna’s Open Your Heart video in the living room. Nine-year-old boys are not supposed to dance around like strippers.

By the time Madonna was making out with a black Jesus in her Like a Prayer video in 1989, there was no denying my obsession with the Material Girl. Living in a Catholic household, however, I was banned from watching her blasphemous video. I was not allowed to own her album. My mother hated Madonna about as much as I marveled at her every move.

The ban on Madonna was lifted by 1990. For Christmas that year, I received a walkman and a cassette copy of Madonna’s first greatest hits compilation, The Immaculate Collection. I literally listened to that cassette until it snapped, despite the fact that Justify My Love was never allowed to be played in the presence of my mother.

The release of Erotica in 1993 was nicely timed to coincide with my going through puberty. The dark beats and sexual messages of that album filled my mind and bedroom as I entered high school. It was evocative and different and scary. It was exactly why I loved Madonna.

I was away at college, living on my own for the first time, when Madonna gave the world Ray of Light in 1998. Madonna was on a new path, one that was more mature and spiritual. I was also on a new path. Everything in my life was new and unexpected and difficult and exciting. And, as is often the case, Madonna was there to ride the wave with me.

By 2000, I had ridden the wave to adulthood. I was out of the closet and hitting the gay bars in Portland every weekend. Lucky for me, Madonna had also returned to the dance floor with Music. I spent many a sweaty night dancing to Music and Don’t Tell Me while I tried to make sense of my new sexuality and my new world.

In many ways, Madonna is one of my closest friends. Her music taught me to express myself. She was the first person to tell me I can dance. When my heart was shattered, she sang to me about the power of good bye. She reminded me that sorry is not always enough and that I will live on to die another day.

Warner Bros. Records wants you to know about Madonna’s cultural impact. They will list her twelve singles to reach the top of the charts. They’ll remind you that she has seven albums that have peaked at the top spot and that she recently snagged her fortieth chart-topping single on Billboard’s Hot Dance Club Play chart.

There’s no denying that Madonna is a cultural hurricane. But more than that, Madonna and her music have stood by me every step of the way. When I look back on my life, I hear Madonna. I hear Dress You Up and La Isla Bonita and Secret and Vogue and Hung Up. For me, that’s more valuable than any accolades anyone can bestow on the Queen of Pop. For at the end of the day, all that’s left is the music and the memories.

That’s why I’ll be celebrating Madonna today.

On Barbara, Blake and This Year’s Dismal Musical Forecast

I’m a little disappointed in this year’s fall music releases, and I’m here to gripe about it.

The fall is usually a stellar time for music releases. The record labels all want to bolster sales in the last quarter, and releasing a surefire hit before Christmas is never a bad idea. For the most part, the months of September, October and November tend to be a dream for music lover such as myself.

This year, however, the pickings are pretty damn slim.

The release that unofficially kicked off the season was a little record by a little artist known as Whitney Houston. The world waited with bated breath for Miss Thing to dump Bobby, get off the hard stuff, and get her pipes back into the studio. This was to be the comeback of a lifetime. Whitney was back, y’all. Mariah was shakin’ in her ridiculously short skirts. The angels were ready to perform backup.

And then I Look to You descended from on high only to land with a hefty thud. I’m the first to admit I’ve never been much of a Whitney fan. I was, however, willing to give the girl a chance. That chance, I’m sorry to say, proved my every doubt about Whitney’s big comeback. I Look to You offers nothing exciting or special. It’s just Whitney being Whitney. The problem is that this time around, that’s old news. And it doesn’t help that Miss Houston’s voice has sure taken some hits during her missing years.

I fear this is to be a common problem this fall. Mariah Carey has a new album coming out, which I’m sure will be a carbon copy of the last ten Mariah Carey albums. Sure, the woman knows how to ride the trends to the top of the charts, but she sure isn’t known for doing anything even remotely innovative.

And speaking of boring, Barbra Streisand also has a new album coming out this fall.

Even the one release I was looking most forward to getting my hands on proved to be a dud. I adore Mika’s first album, Life in Cartoon Motion. It’s fresh and fun and the guiltiest of pleasures. I do not, however, like it enough to want to own it twice. Sadly, that’s exactly what happened when I picked up his new release, The Boy Who Knew Too Much. As the musical advisor to Welcome to My Truth so aptly put it via text message, Mika’s new effort is “entirely indistinguishable from his first album, right down to the cover art.”

In other news, there are no new artists in the music business. Megadeth, Bruce Hornsby, Harry Connick Jr., Dan Fogelberg, Tim McGraw, the Backstreet Boys, Alice in Chains, and Sting are all releasing albums this fall. And don’t forget Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand.

“But wait,” I can hear the masses screaming. “You forgot to mention Susan Boyle!” Yes, I forgot to mention Susan Boyle. I will mention her long enough to say that when she sits atop the Billboard album charts in late November, that will be the last piece of proof I need that those charts are dead and the American public has gone mad.

Now, I know what some of you savvier readers are thinking. You are thinking this post is all about bashing other artists so that I can have Madonna swoop in and save the day. Yes, Madonna has a release scheduled for next Tuesday. Yes, I still love Madonna. I am not, however, looking to her to save this fall’s dismal musical forecast. Madonna is releasing Celebration, a greatest hits collection that starts with her first single and brings us right through to the present day. I have no doubt it’s going to be a great compilation. But for someone who already owns all of Madonna’s hits, this release is a bit of a non-event.

To be fair, Madonna’s is not the only release that is a non-event in my world. That I know of, two of 2009’s biggest artists have plans for hopping on the train made popular most recently by Rihanna. Taylor Swift will be re-releasing her Fearless album with a bonus DVD. Lady Gaga is also rumored to be putting her album The Fame back into circulation with bonus materials and new remixes. I’m not a fan of this marketing ploy. Gives us something new. If you don’t have anything new to offer, leave us alone. Throwing some leftover songs on to an old album is insulting and, as far as I’m concerned, just shows that you’ve already gotten stale.

So where does this leave a lover of music such as myself? What will I be adding to my iPod to get me through the day? Will I be forced to become a Barbra Streisand fan?

Well, I do have one ace in the hole. Blake Lewis has a new album dropping in October, and from what I’ve heard, I won’t be disappointed. He’s taken the sound from his last album and pushed it further into the depths of some wicked new wave throwback machine. I’m pretty psyched to hear this album in full.

Other than that, I’m at a loss. That’s where you come in. What are you listening to? What funky little-known artists am I missing out on? What’s one good reason I should be running to Amazon UK?

You can save my fall yet, loyal readers.