On Blizzards, Weather and The Lies I am Told by Amy Freeze

I have a bone to pick with one Miss Amy Freeze.  In fact, I have a bone to pick with a whole gaggle of Chicago area meteorologists.

 

You see, I’m still waiting for the blizzard they all promised me days ago.

The news in Chicago, at least when it comes to the weather, has been all doom and gloom as of late. A blizzard is coming! The lowest temperatures we’ve seen in years are on the way! Pipes will burst! People will die! Move to Califonia as soon as you can!

And yet, I am still waiting.

Sure, we’ve had some snow. Yes, it’s been cold. But we’ve hardly seen the kind of cataclysmic weather that’s been predicted. Meanwhile, news broadcasts are all about making sure people know how to survive in the deep freeze that is coming our way.  They make it sound like you are sure to die if you don’t listen up.  It’s pretty ridiculous.

What astounds me even more is that the weather they are predicting is hardly worse than weather we’ve seen in the past. The day I flew home to California for the holidays, it was forty degrees below zero here in Chicago. Now that was some brutal weather. The low that they are predicting this week is a measly thirteen degrees below zero. I’m pretty sure I can handle that.

Why can’t the weathermen and women of the world just give it to us striaght?  There will be snow.  It will be cold.  You had better bundle up.  It is not, however, the end of the world.

That’s the kind of weather report I want to see.  That way I won’t be disappointed when I wake up and see blue skies and a light dusting of snow on the ground.  I mean, where the hell is my blizzard?

And yes, we really have a meteorologist in Chicago named Amy Freeze.