On Tickets, Hits and My Last Dance with Janet Jackson

Thank goodness for spiraling pop stars and poor ticket sales.

Janet Jackson was in town last night with her Rock Witchu Tour. Yes, Janet has forgotten how to spell. Sadly, she’s also forgotten how to churn out hits, and the ticket sales for her current tour have been suffering as a result. I had been contemplating going to see her, but was not too keen on paying the sixty dollars she was asking for a cheap seat. You see, I’ve seen Janet before. And while Janet puts on a good show, she’s not exactly the most creative pop star out there. Janet hasn’t done anything overly original since 1997. And so I knew that the show would hardly be groundbreaking. And yet I wanted to go. She’s still Janet Jackson after all. I was torn.

But then a small miracle occurred. I went to the Ticketmaster website to scope out tickets and saw that a new deal had been added. If one was willing to buy a total of four tickets to the Janet concert, each ticket would go for a mere twenty-five dollars. All of a sudden a trip to see Miss Janet did not seem so outrageous. I sounded the alarms, and by the end of the day had drummed up enough interest to purchase two sets of tickets.

And so eight of us ventured to the Allstate Arena to see Miss Janet Jackson run through thirty-seven songs in two and a half hours. She easily could have called this the Everything But the Kitchen Sink Tour. It was all there. The kitchen sink, however, was Because of Love. She neglected to sing that song. And I love that song. For that I may never forgive her.

I may also never forgive her for giving us a carbon copy of every live performance I have ever seen from her. There was nothing innovative or exciting that happened in those two and a half hours. Sure, she gave us the hits we love. But she gave them to us without personality. The dance moves were pulled straight from her videos. Any gimmicks that were present had been present when I saw her in 1994 and 1998. A decade has passed and she’s still pulling male audience members on stage and molesting them. Yes, Janet, we get it. You’re sexy.  Now, can we move on?

All of which is not to say the night was a total bust. The show may have been uninspired, but it was certainly fun enough. I got to dance around to Pleasure Principle and If and Miss You Much and Control and Nasty and Rhythm Nation. And I got to do it all for thirty-three dollars (twenty-five dollars plus all those stupid fees). That’s less than one dollar per song. I just wish Janet had put more than a dollar’s worth of thought into each song.

As I left the arena, I knew I’d never see Janet again. I’ve been a loyal fan, but even I can only see the same performances so many times before I have to throw in the towel. I still love all those hits and I’m glad I got to hear them all one more time. But I’m afriad this truly was my last dance with Janet.

Unless, of course, I can get tickets for under twenty bucks for her next tour.