On Knees, Screams and Starting the Week with a Pop

Monday morning started with a pop.

I got up at the usual time and went about getting ready for work. I ironed my clothes and brushed my teeth and hopped into the shower. I lathered my body and shaved my face and washed my hair. I dried myself off and hung the towel back on the rack. I got one foot out of the tub and that’s when things started getting a little interesting.

The foot that was still in the tub started to slip out from underneath me and so, in order to keep myself from falling, I braced myself with the leg that was planted on dry land. Luckily, I was able to keep myself from slipping and cracking my skull on the tub. I was not, however, able to keep my knee in place.

The damn thing popped right out of joint.

The pain was instant and excruciating. I yelled out in agony and looked down to see my knee cap sticking off the left side of my left leg. It clearly was not where it was supposed to be.

I hobbled to the bedroom to find my phone. I was wet. I was naked. I was fighting back tears. I was trying not to scream. And I was desperately avoiding looking at my knee. Just seeing it poking out like that made me want to vomit.

Before I could get to my phone, I heard a knock on my door. It was my neighbor. She had heard me scream and was checking to see what was the matter. I yelled out to her that I had dislocated my knee and she yelled back that she would take me to the hospital. I called out that I needed to get some clothes on and I’d be right there.

Getting clothes on, however, is not an easy task when you are ready pass out and you can’t bend or move your knee. Luckily I am a lot more limber than I appear and was able to wiggle myself into some gym shorts, just barely avoiding throwing out my back.

From here, the story is as expected. The doctor popped my knee back into place for me, eliciting another scream. He gave me a few painkillers. He wrapped up my knee, threw a brace on it and sent me on my way.

It’s two days later, and I am feeling fine. The knee is a tad sore at times, but I think I’ll survive. I have the brace if I need. And while I downed the painkillers already, there is always aspirin if the soreness gets to be too much.

I guess I’ll just have to stay off my knees this weekend, as disappointing as that may be to some.