On Art, Modeling and Painting with My Penis

What do you see when you look at this painting?

If you see the stains from a man’s ejaculation, you would be right on the money shot. Give yourself a pat on the back.

This is just one of a series of paintings called Coming Attractions by a local artist. According to the artist, Emery, these painting are essentially self portraits, each featuring a unique pattern that highlights the “individuality of the model.”

Emery, a student at The School of the Art Institute of Chicago, sees the project as a “comment on male sexuality in our society.” He started out to express this sexuality without going the typical route of using male models to capture still life representations. “The role of the model here is to aid in the design of the painting.”

Essentially the models are asked to ejaculate on the canvas. The markings of said ejaculation are captured. The result is a work of art featuring a “distinguished print of [the model’s] presence in [the] piece”

It’s all very modern art. And, according the artist, it is all very Dada, in which artists used a technique known as “chance art.”

The process for capturing the image is rather interesting. Emery first paints a canvas one solid color and lets it dry completely. He then finds a model. While the model is masturbating, Emery paints the canvas with a second coat of paint. The model then ejaculates on the canvas before it has dried completely. The semen can then be cleaned off the canvas with a cotton swab, taking the wet second coat of paint with it.

For example, in the above painting, the canvas was originally painted orange. A green coat of paint was then added moments before the model deposited his semen onto the canvas. Et voila – a painting is born.

[Any readers who want to continue to think of me as a sweet, innocent blogger should stop reading here.]

I know so much about the project and the process because Emery explained it to me the other night while he put the finishing touches on my piece.

Yes, I was a model. Yes, I masturbated and ejaculated onto a canvas. Yes, the image of my semen is now hanging on someone’s wall.

I am still not quite sure how I was talked into serving as a model for Emery, but that is exactly what I did. I dropped my pants and went to town while he painted over a shiny gold canvas with deep green paint. Once the canvas was ready, I had the distinct honor of making a mess all over it.

And if this sounds like a good time to any of you, feel free to email Emery. He is always looking for willing models.

I must warn you, however, that whole thing was rather bizarre. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first modeling gig, but I certainly did not expect what I got. As I stood there pleasuring myself, it hit me that the whole thing was rather mundane. It felt like work. I was there to do a job. Granted, the job involved my pants being on the other side of the room, but it wasn’t a sexual job. In fact, the whole thing was very non-sexual.

And that was a bit of a problem. I found that it is very hard to deliver the goods when there is so little sexual stimulation to work with. Porn was made available to me, but I’ve never been much of a porn guy. I prefer the real deal.

I kept wondering if that was what it felt like to donate sperm. You are being asked to ejaculate on command, but you don’t have the added help of sexual stimulation.

And it doesn’t even count toward my list of lifetime experiences.

But in the end I was able to do what I had gone there to do. And the painting turned out rather well. Unfortunately, photos of my piece are not yet available. Sorry, but you won’t be seeing my load today.

I wondered if I would be ashamed of myself after the fact, but I’m definitely not. Because the whole scene was lacking in any real sexual energy, it is hard for my Catholic guilt to get the better of me on this one. I simply aided in an art project.

I just happened to do it with no pants on.