On Crushes, Evidence and Butterflies in My Stomach over Mister Perfect
Nothing, and I mean nothing, can cure a foul mood like an innocent crush.
The first time I saw him was about a month ago. He was new at work and was getting a tour of the building. He was not in my area for six seconds before my eyes fell on him. That fluttery feeling took over my stomach, and I immediately wondered who he was, where he was working and how I could make him mine.
That was a month ago. I had not seen him since. Until yesterday, that is.
I was in the lunchroom enjoying a sandwich with some friends when he came in. As before, I was drawn to him instantly. He stood across the room from me and used the microwave. And, oh, how I longed to be the one warming his lunch.
He is the man of my dreams. If I was able to create my own partner, he would be it. He is the perfect height – taller than me by about a head and half, making him perfect for cuddling. He has the perfect build – solid without being overly muscular. He has a baby face with warm brown eyes and a charming smile.
He was made to lie in my bed giggling and kissing until dawn.
But that, sadly, is not enough. There is one piece of the puzzle that is missing. And it is an important piece.
No one knows for sure whether Mister Perfect is gay.
I have my suspicions, but I am not convinced either way. I have compiled some clues that I think point to his being on my team, however.
1. He was wearing a sweater vest. It was pink and brown argyle. It was very attractive and suited him the way a red bikini suits Rusty Joiner. I am just not sure pink and brown argyle is the most heterosexual fashion choice.
2. He wears a Claddagh ring. There is some speculation as to whether or not this points to his being gay, but he wears it on his right hand with the heart facing away from him. This means he is single. And it seems odd that a single straight man would wear a Claddagh ring, especially if he also wears pink and brown argyle. It just seems gay.
3. When I was taking him in while enjoying lunch yesterday, he turned around and caught me watching him. Instead of looking away, I held his gaze. And he held mine. A moment definitely passed between us. I choose to consider it a romantic moment.
4. As we were leaving lunch, one of my friends said hello to him and told him we were located on the seventh floor. Within a half an hour, he was spotted on our floor. Call me crazy, but I am convinced he was scoping out one of us. It could have been one of the two women I was with. Or it could have been me.
Okay, that last one in no way points to his homosexuality, but it does thicken the plot nicely.
There is also evidence that would have me believe Mister Perfect is straight. And this evidence is quite compelling.
1. A gay man who works on his floor thinks “he may be straight.” The gaydar of a gay man is pretty strong. I may have to take that as gospel.
2. He has been seen wearing white socks with dark pants and dark shoes. That only works if you are Michael Jackson and it is 1984. But, then again, that just brings us back to the gay thing.
The bottom line is that I have no idea if this guy is gay. I just know that he is scrumptiously delicious, and that I will lust after him until I am in a better place and ready to focus on a scrumptiously delicious man who is a card-carrying homosexual.
Until then, it feels really good to have innocent butterflies over a cute boy.
Hon, you’ve forgotten the best test of them all:
Walk up behind him and sing, “Clang, Clang, Clang…”. If he responds with anything other than “…Went the Trolley!” he’s definitely straight.
Yea – CB has it about right! BTW Vince, that is Judy and not Madonna…
Yea – nothing like a cute boy to cure all ills…
Cola Boy makes a good point on the test, but, depending on how young (and uneducated) your future husband is, the reference may be lost upon him…
In regards to your points:
1. He’s probably Gay.
2. He could be of Irish descent, which would explain the ring.
3. He could be gay!
4. You didn’t say if your friend, who did the talking, was male or female…
1. Gaydar is not foolproof!
2. He could be a Gay Nerd. They are in the minority, but, they are out there…
P.S. “And, oh, how I longed to be the one warming his lunch…” You dirty boy! ;P
“He was made to lie in my bed giggling and kissing until dawn.”
He is one lucky man if he gets to experience that.
You know what? Who cares if he’s gay? Sometimes the mystery of it all makes it worth while.
“… but it does thicken the plot nicely.”
Is that your name for it? Nice. Haha!
warming is lunch…hah!
I agree…str8 me just don’t wear pink and brown argyle sweatervests.
glad you’re a newbie…i’m one here too now!
Thanks for stopping by!
In regards to TigerYogi’s comment about there being gay nerds, it’s true.
I’m one.
First, “Rusty Joiner”? That makes me think of nasty old nails in the beams of my attic. Not quite the effect I think he’s going for. But, then, of course, I’m just weird, and he ain’t my type, so whatever.
Second, gay nerds? Oh, we’re out there, baby!
Third, “The gaydar of a gay man is pretty strong.” It totally depends on the gay man. Not all of us have well-calibrated gaydar. Some gays don’t have the fashion sense gene, either (I am, sadly one of them), so the white socks are not conclusive.
Lastly, whatever it turns out this guy is, it’s nice to see you out of your funk and giggling like a schoolgirl.
Omg, this is so suspenseful!!!