On Smut, Utah and Giving Away the Box of Porn

Don’t tell my mom, but I have a fairly sizeable collection of gay porn. Some of it I stole from ex boyfriends, but most of it I received from a very generous friend. He was moving to Los Angeles and didn’t want to bother with all of it. So he gave it to me.

And now I am in the same boat.

I’m leaving for Chicago next week and I’d rather not have to cart a box of porn with me. It’s not like I’ll really need it. I never use it. Really, I don’t.

Besides, my dad will be along for the ride, and I’d hate for him to open that box on accident. Pretty sure my dad could live without that little surprise. And since this is my life, that is the exact box that would tumble out of the U-Haul in the middle of Utah, spilling sinful video tapes across the highway.

But what am I to do with it all? I don’t have anyone I can think to leave the collection with. I’d sell them, but I am running out of time. And these are not the most pristinely kept movies I’ve ever seen. In fact, I don’t think there is any actual cover among them. Just a bunch of non-descript black tapes filled with lustful images.

So I have decided to give the porn away. I’ve placed an ad on Craig’s List advertising free porn to anyone who is willing to swing by and take the box of smut off my hands. I tried this with my old couch and failed. Hopefully this time will go a little more smoothly.

Besides, I think free porn may be a bit more enticing than an old couch.